This Week Sucked

Completely and totally sucked. Sucked big time.

I had another interview, a couple of second interviews, and a third interview. Still no job. But that’s not the reason this week sucked.

I’m still working on the Picovoli sweater and I’m past the armholes and slogging down through the bustline. Boring, no shaping, just plain old stockinette. Knit after knit after knit. That’s not the reason week sucked, either.

The weather has been weird for Oregon: hot and humid one day, then cool and rainy the next, one night so hot I could hardly sleep, the next week so cold I had to get a blanket out. And that’s still not the reason this week sucked.

I was sick last Sunday and Monday; spent both days in bed, sleeping and sweating. I slept from Saturday night right through to Monday at noon. A crappy summer cold. And that’s not the reason this week sucked.

I unloaded on someone at the office about things she’s really not responsible for; I know none of this horrible mess was brought on by her in any way, but I took it out on her. My pot finally boiled over; and I deeply regret it. Still not the reason this week sucked.

All of us at the office had racked our brains on something to give our boss to her to show how much we love her. She’s moving to Guadalajara, Mexico in two months, so we wanted something visual; something she could look at that would remind her of all of us here, waiting for her to come back. We finally decided on a photograph of the Portland skyline, taken from up at Washington Park, with the Willamette River and Mt. Hood in the background. One of the ladies went downtown and bought a beautifully framed print and we all wrote messages to our boss on the back. For me, it was the second hardest thing I’d ever had to write to her. She and I alone know what the hardest one was. Still not the reason this week sucked.

We had a luncheon with the boss on Thursday; all her employees, her Aunt Betty from San Diego, and her significant other, Michael. We reminisced about good times and bad, we talked about old clients and cases, we laughed at ourselves and each other, we said thanks to each other and to her, and we cried. And cried. And cried. Her significant other, Michael, made a wonderful speech about how much he loves her and wants to spend whatever time they have together doing whatever she wants, wherever she wants, when she wants. None of us have any doubt that he will take excellent care of her. Then we all had a chance to give her hugs and kisses, tell her how much she means to us, and to say goodbye. When she just couldn’t take anymore, Michael and Aunt Betty took her home. The rest of us stayed awhile, trying to compose ourselves, making sure we said to each other all the things we needed to say to make absolutely sure everyone knew how much each one of us means to the others. Lots of hugs, kisses, and tears. Still not the worst thing about this week, or the reason it sucked.

I took the train home and barely made it in the door when I completely fell apart. I finally just couldn’t hold anything in anymore. During the last seven months, I thought that I’d cried all the tears possible about this horrible situation. I was wrong. I sobbed, cried, wailed, and exhausted myself. I cried so hard that my ribs hurt for hours afterward. But that’s not the reason this week sucked, either.

The reason this week sucked is that no matter what happens in the future, no matter how great the job, no matter how big the salary, no matter how generous the perks, no matter how nice my co-workers are, I will never, ever again in my life have what I had there. Ever. And that’s the reason this week sucked.

Holy Smokes, Batman!

What a week this has been! Some good news, some bad news, resolutions broken, resolutions maintained, and a surprise at the end.

Good news: More interviews. Some very good prospects, and some wanting me to return for second interviews.

Bad news: Ran out of Sugar 'N Cream for warshrags. I really liked those bright colors and almost instant satisfaction of each one finished. But, no new knitting project planned (what was I thinking????). Being project monogamous has it's advantages: knitting the second sock while still being able to remember what you did on the first sock; getting sweaters done in the same season they're started; delivering a baby gift before the recipient learns to walk. It also has disadvantages: That moment of panic when you realize, "Oh my god, I don't have a knitting project!"

Resolutions broken: I really wanted to maintain a good attitude at the office during the last days before closing. I failed miserably. I am feeling particularly uncharitable towards a couple of people in the office, and I hate myself when I get that way. My mother always said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." So, I won't say anything about what's been going on.

Resolutions maintained: Knitting from the stash. As much as I wanted the diversion of going to Black Sheep Gathering, I don't want to spend any money on yarn until I have a new job. So, going there to see all that yarn, hand spun and hand dyed, seemed rather machochistic. There'd be all this inspiration right in front of me, and I wouldn't be able to bring anything home.

Instead, I went shopping in the stash and found a 1 pound cone of wine-colored bamboo yarn which I bought at Woodland Woolworks last spring. Perfect! I bought this to make a summer top for my self. I pulled out Grumperina's pattern for Picovoli. I swatched, got gauge, casted on, and knit about 6 rows. Realized this stuff splits. A lot, apparently, because I had at least 6 "loops" sticking out of the stockinette stitch. Curse. Frog. Start again. Repeat. Be more careful the THIRD time it's casted on. Now I'm up on the 8th repeat of the 3 increase rows for the shoulders and no more "loops" sticking out. And I've got to say, now that I have the hang of knitting with this stuff, I am loving bamboo. The color is great, this is smooth as any silk I've ever used, and the cost can't be beat. Under $15 bucks for a pound of this stuff. I think I may be buying more of this as soon as the yarn diet is over. I'd love to have a stole of this stuff in a medium gray. And another short-sleeve sweater or six.

Big surprise at the end: I've been buying KnitPicks yarn for several years. I'm a particular fan of their sock yarn; especially the self-striping ones they discontinued last year. Kelley Petkun is KnitPicks owner, and I've been reading her blog for about a year, and listening to her podcast since she started it back in April. I knew she had been at The Harlot's appearance here in Portland two weeks ago. I'd looked for her in the crowd, but there were so many people there that it was impossible. Then tonight after Tool Man has headed off to bed, I download her latest podcast and settle down with my knitting.

A few minutes into the 'cast, she's talking about being alone in her knitting, not really having anyone that she regularly sees who's been as captivated by knitting as she is, no one to bounce ideas off, no one's skills to anspire to, no one to encourage her. I'm thinking, "yeah, me too", and "I really need to find a knitting group." Then, she mentions "Bobbie, at Tiggywinkle Knits". Wait, did I really hear that? Rewind. Listen. Repeat. She's wanting a meet up of PDX Knit Bloggers. Oh, me, too! Me, too! So, I get on the computer to do a new post. I glance over at the visitor counter. OMG! That can't be right? It was less than 150 when I last posted. Holy smokes, Batman! Kelley sent out a bat signal!

Portland Knit Bloggers ROCK!

So, a few emails passed back and forth; I issued a challenge for a Yahoo group and to The Oregonian knit blog; and WHOO HOOO those knit bloggers went to work!

BIG THANKS Judy at Persistent Illusion , who took the bait and set up a Yahoo group for us. It's only been open 2 days and we have 20 members. The PDX Knit Bloggers group is here. You know the drill: if you live in the Portland metro area (we'll include Vancouver, WA, too) and have a blog that includes knitting, then go there and sign up!

And Peggy and Mims, who run The Oregonian knit blog gave us a plug on their blog today. Hopefully, that will bring more knitters out of the woodwork.

First, we have to figure out a way to recognize each other at Black Sheep in two weeks; then when/where to have a meet up in Portland. How about the South Park Blocks? or Tom McCall Waterfront Park? Warm weather, picnic baskets, knit bloggers, yarn, unfinished projects (yeah, like knitting will actually get done!), fiber, spinners. Sounds like heaven to me!

Portland Knit Bloggers

Portland Knit Bloggers are the best! A bunch of us have been emailing each other in an effort to set up a get-together. We want to see the ones we met last week, connect up with the ones we missed last week, and meet ones that couldn't make it to see The Harlot. I'm trying to keep a list of everyone and their addresses and URLs, but we need a better way to communicate. Would anybody volunteer to set up a Yahoo Group for us where we can post info, leave messages for everyone, etc.? I've sent a message to the ladies who knit blog for The Oregonian to see if we can enlist help; I plan on enlisting them (and anyone else I can draft) into helping get this group going. As Stephanie told us last week, we're "super responders", so let's get this thing off the ground and REPRESENT! Leave me a comment with your email address and I'll make sure to include you in mass emails until we get some sort of bulletin board or Yahoo group going.

Running Around Town

That's what I 've been since my last post: running around town. On Thursday, I had a boatload of appointments (9:30, 1:00, 2:30) for jobs. Charged the cell phone, packed up knitting, loaded some podcasts on my MP3 player, got dressed up in one of my new suits (I even put on makeup!), threw my heels in the knitting back and wore walking shoes, had Tool Man drop me at the MAX station and was headed downtown. I wave as he pulls out of the parking lot, walk to the platform, and . . . . one machine won't take bills or cards, and the other is completely out of service. At 8:00 a.m. on a weekday. WTF? Not having $4.25 in change, I have to ride to the next stop, get off, buy a ticket, and wait for another train. I may not be all that bright, but I'm not risking a $75 ticket for not having a ticket.

The next train comes, and I actually get a seat! Make it to the first appointment (9:30 for a 2nd intereview) with less than 5 minutes to spare and find out . . . . . the attorney I'm supposed to meet with is stuck in a traffic jam (overturned double semi on the interstate) and can't make the appointment. So we reschedule, and now I have 3 hours to kill before my next appointment. Called the headhunter and let her know about the reschedule, then go shopping at Pioneer Place; stopped in Claire's and bought some cheap earrings: buy 2 get 1 free (the soon-to-be-unemployed have to find good sales). Then go to the headhunters office to put my feet up, check email, and knit.

They put me in my headhunter's office (she works from home on Friday) so I checked my email; there's a BIG to-do over another special assessment to cover replacing our doors, so I have 46 emails since last night. I waded through those and found an email from a firm I'd previously contacted on my own and the administrator wants to see me. WHOOO HOOOO! Called her and got an appointment for 4:00 that afternoon. One of the girls in the office got a salad from a street vendor for my lunch (a fabulous salad of spring greens, candied walnuts, goat cheese, fresh strawberries, and balsamic vinaigrette) and then I dashed down Broadway to my 1:00 appointment.

That one went very well. Even though the administrator and I didn't know each other, we know a lot of the same people. And she's seen my resume, so it really wasn't a "sell myself" interview; it was more "see if the personalities fit" interview. We had such a good time talking, we went over the alloted hour, she said she wants me back for a 2nd interview, and I left at 2:20. Good thing my next appointment was in the same building! Then up the elevator to the next one. There, I've known the administrator for about 6 years; again, more "personality fit" interview. That one went so well, we again ran over an hour, he said he wants me back for a 2nd interview, and I left at 3:45. But I didn't realize that until I had gotten down to the street, bought a bottle of tea, and changed back to walking shoes. CRAP! My next appointment was a good 11 blocks away and NOT on a MAX line! Quick, call and let them know I'll be a little late (I didn't say also out of breath and sweaty from running). I didn't run, but I did walk very fast (as my friend Chris would say, "Quick like a bunny!") so I could try to find a ladies room to primp up before going to their office. No public ladies rooms; WTF? Good thing I've known that administrator a long time, she'll know I don't usually arrive looking frantic and disheveled! That interview also went great; although she really wants me in the office, she's out of space until renovations are done and would I be interested in floating until September? I said maybe, and we agreed to talk in a couple weeks.

That was a great day, but Friday was even better. It was a slow day at the office (most of them are now, actually) and all the attorneys were gone, so I made the executive decision to close an hour early. In order to get downtown to Powell's for Yarn Harlot's book release!

Tool Man and I took MAX downtown, got off at the library, and walked toward Powell's. It was now 4:00 (I wanted to go into Powell's, get my book, and find the tribe of knitters) so Tool Man suggested we have a drink or two before the 7:30 start time. I say, "Sure, we've got lots of time", but I'm really thinking, "DOESN'T HE REALIZE HARLOT IS IN TOWN, THERE ARE KNITTERS WAITING FOR ME TO JOIN THEIR TRIBE, AND I WANT TO HAVE DRINKS WITH THEM, THANKS FOR COMING WITH ME, YOU CAN GO HOME NOW, SEE YOU LATER". And I AM thinking that loudly in my head. So as we're walking up 11th, we see this on top of Jake's Famous Crawfish:

Just another one of the reasons Portland is weird and I love it. We go to Living Room Theater and sit down. Tool Man wants sit and relax; I want to GO TO POWELL'S RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THE HARLOT IS HERE but manage to not twitch too much and drink a mint ice tea. (They have really good tea and the coolest ladies room sink you've ever seen. Trust me on that second one.) I finally get so twitchy at 5:30 that Tool Man suggests we go now. We find our way to the Pearl Room see they haven't even begun to set up chairs and about 2 dozen people are already waiting. Tool Man says he'll meet me back here at 8:30, he's going to find a bar. Honestly, I think I really did brush him off, but I was so distracted by knitters and the wool fumes that I hardly noticed he left. The book guy finally started setting up chairs, about 100, and we knitters told him he would need LOTS more than that. He was a little condescending but continued to set up chairs. I located Kathy in the crowd (whose hair really does look great) and settled in. Pretty soon, seats around us were filled by R0dger, Melissa, and Barbara. There were also some nice younger women on the floor near me, but I never caught their names. Anyway, by 6:00 the room looked like this:

That's Rodger standing up in front. And by 6:30 it looked like this:

That's Barbara's back in the middle, and Kathy's great hair on the right. Remember, we told them they would need LOTS more chairs? Well, by 7:00, the crowd looked like this:

Standing room only; and about 10 deep in the stacks. And we were all busy examining each others work, yarn, talking patterns, yarn, feeling each other up (the projects, that is.), and exchanging blog names. Then, there she was:

Taking our pictures with the traveling sock.



Isn't that podium of stacked books just the bees' knees? You can't really see it, but they even have a big book for her to stand on.



Even though I've read her books, read her blog daily (and check back in later, like Barbara, to see if she's posted more), and usually read the comments, it was WAY better hearing her in person. Melissa and I got so tickled, I think both of us would pee our pants! And it was over WAY too soon. I didn't stay for the book signing, but I did leave her a dishcloth with a little gift inside (a Moonstruck chocolate bar). Tool Man was standing in the back waiting for me, and I felt like he'd been SO patient all night long that I really couldn't say, "Ok, wait for another hour while I stand in line, have a brain freeze when she actually talks to me, and then listen for another hour while I tell you all about how it was for me." Ok, well, I did do that third part, but I spared him the first two things while we ate dinner at Jake's and headed home.

I had a great time, both days. I didn't get much knitting done on either one, but I got to walk all over a city that I love, the weather was great, spent time with Tool Man doing something out of the ordinary, made new friends, ate great seafood, and laughed my arse off. What more could anybody want?

Dear Lizzie,

From the time you have been working in the office, I know how bright you are and what a very quick mind you possess. Combine those attributes with your relentless work ethic and commitment to excellence, and it is obvious that you have a wide-open future ahead of you. I can only hope that your experience working with us contributed in some small way to your success.

It has been such a joy to know you these past few years. I loved hearing about your interests and activities: singing in the choir, ski racing, the formal dances, your friends, shoes and handbags, the trip to France, and applying for colleges. Your smiling face and enthusiasm for life have been a breath of fresh air!

Finally, graduation day has come. Soon you will be at Chapman, where I know you will succeed just as you did at OES. You have all the attributes to reach any goal you set for yourself. As you embark on this new chapter of your life, I encourage you to do so with passion. Passion will take you "above and beyond" any goal you set for yourself, whether in your career or your relationships. Passion will provide rewards beyond even your own expectations.

There are some things you’ll need to have as you travel on life’s journey: a little black dress, a white dress shirt, a fabulous photo of yourself, a hammer, a business card, a great pickup line . . . and a way to blow them off, a pretty pair of heels, a cordless screwdriver, a credit card in your own name, to know that you can survive and stand on your own two feet, and to know that you want to take someone with you on the journey.

I am so proud of you and am grateful for our friendship. I can’t wait to see where you go and what you do next. I want to be able to say, "I knew her when . . . . . . . . . . "

A hard week . . .

This was a hard week for me. My boss has finally realized what the rest of us have known for several months: that she'll never be able to practice again. She signed the sublease on Wednesday and asked that I pack up her office. On Thursday, she made plans for movers to pack up her belongings and for renting her properties. Then on Friday, she came into the office to sign letters of recommendation for the staff, and she and I went through her desk. We packed up a box of things for her to take home: her children's pictures, a few mementos that were special, the envelope of "atta girls" she kept in her desk, her Mont Blanc pens. The last thing into the box was a tapestry pillow on her couch that I had given her for Christmas a few years ago. It said perfectly how she and I practiced family law, "A hundred years from now, it will not matter how much money I had, or the house I lived in, or the car I drove, because I made a difference in the life of a child." By that time, she and I were both too teary eyed to do any more packing. She thanked me for cleaning out her office, and I told her that I'd do anything for her, ever. Then with hugs and tears, she was gone again.

I heard one of the associate attorneys on the phone after my boss left. I think it was an opposing counsel, asking how things were going in the office. The associates said everyone was doing ok and hanging on, then, "Poor Bobbie, it's been really hard on her. She's been tending a grave here." In a lot of ways, that's true: my boss's practice is over, the firm is essentially dead, my employment has an ending date. In other ways, I wish it were true; because if it was, then this daily grief would be over. The hardest part of this has been physically seeing my boss and not knowing whether she's with us or not. And knowing that even when she is, it's only temporary and may not last more than a few minutes.

After I left the office on Friday, I did have a call with the headhunter. She has two more firms with openings for paralegals. Both VERY hush-hush; can't even say the name of the firm. I'm familiar with both firms, and either one would be a plum. Hopefully, she'll be able to set up interviews for next week.

Tool Man had a busy week, too. He got the painting finished in the master bath and bedroom. And he's got the baseboards and door trim back up. And he moved the armoir from the garage to the master bedroom, carried in the bigger tv, and hooked it op to the cable box.

This is the 100th year of the Rose Festival, and Portland is buzzing with things to do. We had planned on going to the Starlight Parade on Saturday night, but by that afternoon, we were too pooped to ride the train downtown. We will go downtown next weekend, probably on Sunday, to see the dragon boat races, the tall ships, see the floats and the centennial history of the Rose Festival. Too bad we'll miss floral parade; I like the One More Time Around Band.

Tool Man tackled the backyard today. We had drizzle early in the week, and the backyard doesn't get a lot of sun (it's on the west side) so it takes a long time to dry out enough to mow. But, with the warm weather, the mountain laurel we planted three years ago finally bloomed. A lot! Would you just look at this:



It's called "Mountain Fire"; the little flower buds start out almost hot pink and then turn white just before they open. And they have these fantastic red markings inside the white flowers. Wait, you can't see the blooms up close. Here, how's this?



The flowers are only about the size of a quarter, but it looks like someone used a dark red Sharpie inside each one. No fragrance, but with blooms like this, who care?

I've been knitting warshrags this week. After a long project like Argosy, I like to do something fast, something for immediate gratification. I had decided to knit from the stash until I have a new job and I had a bunch of Sugar and Cream that I bought on 1/2 price sale last winter. So here they are:



This really doesn't show the colors accurately, and I can't figure out how to make it right. I need to have Tool Man give me a lesson on Photoshop to fix that. The dark blue is really purple, red is really hot pink (with some neon orange), the pale green is really lime, and the light blue is really a hot turqoise. And the carpet is about 2 shades lighter and has far less "tweed" than the picture. Go figure.